learning to stop fighting

Walking outside today I decided to try something. For starters... for some reason, the last couple days I've just been freezing as I walk to class. I shiver on my way there and it's hard to relax and take a nice deap breath. So today as I walked outside I calmed myself. I convinced my body that the cold wasn't that cold and that I wasn't going to die and that it didn't need to go into survival tactics. I was successful at doing this and completed my walk in this state of mind. I let the cold take over my body. Now don't confuse this with tricking myself into thinking it was warm... I did not deny that it was cold. I simply let myself feel that cold completely... without fighting it. As strange as it may sound, it was quite enjoyable. I didn't feel the stress of staying warm and shaking like my body was going to come apart. I was just cold, that's all... and eventually I got to where I was going and I was warm again.


Here's a little puzzle... I like to think that "God", "life", and "trust" are ideas that would fit nicely into an anology here.

...but by the way, I really did do the cold thing... and shivering is as much mental as it is physical.

Second Early Morning Post

Ok, so I couldn't exactly see the sun because of the clouds, but I know it was there. =)

A perfect, even blanket of pure white snow spread across the lake. I walk through the slush and the crap on my way to class, but to see beautiful, untouched snow makes me really miss sledding in my backyard. To my left were two men fishing from a bridge where there was some open water. I thought to myself, "boy, they got up early to catch a fish.".... =)

Goodmorning everyone.

The day that began without the dawn

So I was up way too late last night, but oddly enough I was ripped from my sleep at 6:49am. I have no idea why but for some reason I woke up and my body said I needed to stay up. In fact, I don't think I could get back to sleep if I tried. There are so many thoughts crashing into my mind this morning. I would say the vast majority are positive and hopeful. The bad thoughts, I am convinced, are simply incorrect... which comforts me.

I miss talking to my best friend.

...it appears the sun is just peaking out over the horizon. Maybe today I will watch the sun rise. =)

exams

I don't like exams, but my professors don't seem to mind that.

"trying hard for the break of day"

love

reality

It is well within God's power to make our dreams come true. So if I trust whole heartedly in God's kindness and power, then the phrase "stop dreaming and come back to reality" should not apply to me. I dream about being truly happy for the rest of my life.
(not that anyone is saying stop dreaming... but an interesting thought I thought)

On another note, most of my strangely worded sentences are intentional.

Goodnight and sweet dreams



"[May] the peace of God that surpasses all understanding...guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:7

P.S. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe is an amazing movie.

...that comment about change.

Perhaps it's been lack of change that's hurt me. I guess we're all changing as we go on.

During a slow walk home last night I saw the snow plows clearing the streets which made me think of something... I should probably get my car out of the street and let the plow clean up last night's mess.

*lonely

Day One

The feeling inside me is so impossible to describe. It consumes me completely. I feel so lost. So sad. Please let the outcome be good. I've decided I hate change.

Weekends

Weekends for most people are never long enough. For me, most weekends are too long. That's because most weekends I'm not with her. At least during the week I have classes, and clubs, and a job to occupy my time. but on a weekend spent here... I have nothing but time to waste until I see her.

This particular weekend is a weird one... Friday night was not near long enough but today and tomorrow drag on. You see the difference is that this weekend... I spent Friday evening in her company. We danced and laughed and ate food. We watched a movie and talked and snuggled. We said "goodbye for now" and I came back "home". Upon returning home I talked to her later on the phone and being the wonderful guy that I am I upset her with my theories about her male friends. I don't even know the truth... It may just be that I'm jealous of the time they have with her that I can't have. My friends here are so awesome... so stinkin' awesome! But a friend is a friend. I miss my best friend everyday. It's sad because sometimes I miss her when I'm with her cause I know that soon we'll be apart. I miss her.